I am sure most of you have noticed that I haven’t been around much!  I don’t see that changing any time soon.  I am dealing with some family issues that are taking all my time.  I usually don’t Post very personal stuff on my blog but I am asking all my readers for prayers!   Tuesday I got temporary custody of my nieces who are 4 years old and 6 months.    I never thought that it would come to this.  My sister who I love so much has not only disappointed our whole family but her little girls.

She is dealing with a lot of issues but instead of trying to handle them the right way she feels the need to turn to drugs and alcohol.  We have all tried to help but I am sure everyone knows you can’t help someone unless they admit they need help and wants it.  Last weekend was the last straw.   My Family had to do something. If she don’t want to get help we can’t make her, but we can make sure her children are being took care off.   Tuesday afternoon I got the call from the children services asking would I take the girls, Of course I said yes!  Then she told me that it would be up to my sister and her husband but if they didn’t agree, they would still be placing the girls in State care.  She told me she would contact me as soon as she got word.   Time seemed like it took forever! I was so worried that my sister would be so upset with our family that she would refuse and let them go to total strangers.  Thank God she agreed.

We picked the girls up that afternoon.  I admit my emotions are back and forth.  One part of me is angry and the other part of me feels sad and helpless.  I know she loves those girls but I find myself questioning how much.  I am sorry but if I was aware that children services might take my kids if I didn’t start doing right, I would be doing everything in my power to get my life in order just for my kids.  Everyone wants to say it’s a sickness and I agree but when my kids’ are involved I would have to find a way to get the help I needed to prevent this.

The sad part is my niece was glad to leave poor baby. She says her mommy was mean and screaming at her all the time.  The stories that this 4 year old told would make you cry!  She hasn’t even asked about her.    We have family visit today and I just pray it goes ok.   The baby is also doing great.  She has adjusted very well.  She usually cries all the time and throws up because she did have colic but it seems like things are getting better.  Everyone feels that she feels safe and loved now  since she is getting a lot of attention that she has been lacking since she was born.  The first night and day was rough!! Now she is sleeping all night and as happy as she can be.

My kids are another issue…. They understand why the kids are here but they don’t really like the changes that have come with it.  My son said today that he can’t wait till 2 months is up..That is the minimum time we will have them.   I feel that it will be longer because my sister or her husband has even took the first steps by going to get the first Evaluation and start the process.   They are separated but both of them say the same thing but say it’s the other one..   Saturday night she was suppose to call me to confirm what time she was coming to see the girls but she didn’t!  I called and got no answer so everyone is guessing she is out doing her thing… I will admit this pisses me off!  I didn’t take her kids to be a baby sitter! I took her kids so she could get help and make sure the kids were safe.

My Family and friends feel that since they know the kids are safe here that they are not worrying about anything.  I pray that’s not the case but it wouldn’t surprise me.   I know the kids had to be removed so I am not questioning that, but did I do the right thing by taking them?  Maybe if she didn’t know they were ok or had the option to call and come see them when she wants she would work harder to get her life right.   I am trying really hard to make my kids feel as comfortable as they can but I can tell the longer the girls are here the more feelings they will have.  How do I prevent this!??  Since Jada is 5 and my niece is 4 I am sure you know it’s been a lot of fussing which I expected but I didn’t expect my older 2 kids to have such strong feelings about this.  I have not been able to do much of anything.  The phone is always ringing; the kids are always needing something and add that children services will be coming by regularly to check on the kids UGHH.  Please pray for our family that we can find a way to work thru this.