My Heart is breaking for Shellie

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As I type this I am lost for words, My Heart is breaking and I am praying that god gives me the strength to get this post done. Last Night many of you know that Shellie who is Great blogger, and friend too many lost her 2 year old son in tragic accident.

I woke up from my nap with a text from Jammie Yesterday evening telling me about what had happened. My Heart sunk I couldn’t do nothing but cry. I don’t know Shellie Very well, only from all the great work she does over @ momdot’s but I felt her pain. I just wanted to hug her and tell her how sorry I was. Losing a child is a horrific experience no parent should ever have to face.

Unfortunately, I’ve been there. I have faced the same gut-wrenching pain that she is going through. Today 12/15 marks 12 years since my First child passed.  Every year around this time it’s always the hardest. The pain will never go away it’s a lifetime journey that gets easier but never fades. When I heard the news it just brought back so many feelings.  I had no words and I know I seemed distance when some of you tried to chat but it was not that I didn’t care. My heart was breaking for her and when she tweeted those last pictures I lost it. I had to break myself away from the computer and watch my babies sleep.   I am not going to say I know how she feels because I don’t! Nobody does even if you have lost a child. Everyone is different and this affects each person in a different way, However I am going to say that I know she is in a pain and I pray that she finds comfort in these darkest hours when everything else seems to be a blur.  .

I am asking you all to keep her and the family in your prayers. Please Respect her privacy, I know everyone wants to show support and she needs support but she also needs time to herself and her family. Open your arms and let her know you are there. I also urge everyone to think before you speak. If you don’t have the right words to say don’t say anything at all except that you’re sorry and she is in your prayers. I know people mean well but sometimes it comes off wrong and when emotions are so high its hard to grasp what was really meant.

In these unimaginable times, it’s also important to find ways to honor and remember the child. For those who have chosen cremation, selecting special urns for babies can provide a comforting way to keep their memory close.

My Prayers and thoughts will be with her and her family while I spend time with mine. Everyone please go hug your kids and let them know how much you love them today and everyday because tomorrow is not promised to any of us.

Here is a poem that I want to share…

Please Be Gentle

By Jill B. Englar

Please be gentle with me for I am grieving.

The sea I swim in is a lonely one

and the shore seems miles away.

Waves of despair numb my soul

as I struggle through each day.

My heart is heavy with sorrow.

I want to shout and scream

and repeatedly ask “why.”

At time, my grief overwhelms me

and I weep bitterly,

so great is my loss.

Please don’t turn away

Or tell me to move on with my life.

I must embrace my pain

before I can begin to heal.

Companion me through tears

And sit with me in loving silence.

Honor where I am in my journey

Not where you think I should be.

Listen patiently to my story.

I may need to tell it over and over again.

It’s how I begin to grasp the enormity of my loss.

Nurture me through weeks and months ahead.

Forgive me when I seem distant and inconsolable.

A small flame still burns within my heart

And shared memories may trigger

both laughter and tears.

I need your support and understanding.

There is no right or wrong way to grieve.

I must find my own path.

Please, will you walk beside me?

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