Yes, I finally did it. I have taken all the kid’s electronics from them. I hated to do it, but I knew it had to be done. I am sure everyone by now knows how strict I am when it comes to school and grades. I was left without any other option. Middle school is no joke! The last couple of years I have tried to explain to the kids that the teachers actually require more out of them. They also are not there to baby them and keep reminding them when things need to be turned in. If you saw my rant on Facebook Yesterday, I am sure you know this is a follow up from that post. If not let me explain, I am a grade stalker! I log in and look at my kids grades daily; I even have the app on my phone that sends me notifications when grades are entered into the system. So I am aware of grades even before the kids know what they made.
Yesterday morning, I noticed that a couple of the things that needed a grade were marked missing! So I sent the teachers a quick email following up. Each teacher responded back very fast. I learned that they were behind in updating the system. However, I still noticed that some of the grades in my son’s Honors class were not adding up. I knew for a fact he done his homework. I watched him do it! Come to find out he didn’t turn the 2nd part in so he had 2 grades showing 50%! Luckily the teacher was nice enough to ask him about it during class and get the 2nd part. So now I am waiting for the grades to update again. With two homework grades at a 50% it dropped his A to an 87%. Some might not think that’s a big deal. I know he doesn’t either, but I do! Especially when I know, he did it and 2 he knows his stuff. Plus his homework is an easy 100! So there is no excuse! Then I decided to check with his social studies teacher about a grade that has been missing for a couple of weeks now. She tells me he still hasn’t turned it in. So, now he has lied to my face because he has told me over and over he has turned it in and she is just behind in grading. This one zero has his class average grade a 76! NO ,NO ,NO! I am not having it. I try to push for all A’s but the lowest we take in this house is an 85 B and there better be a good reason for even that! Then we have MATH, His favorite subject of all times. He is struggling this year. Why, I don’t know. To be honest I really don’t think he is even trying. When we ask he gives me this look like he is confused. So he has 4 more weeks to bring his math grade up to an 85! All his other classes He is doing pretty well but not where I think they should be. No, I am not asking too much! I know he can do it. If I didn’t know for a fact he couldn’t make an 85 or better trust me I wouldn’t be so hard on him!
With Jas, I am a little more forgiving with her. She has always struggled in school. I know some stuff she really doesn’t get. However, so far this year has been the BEST YEAR EVER! She had a perfect progress report! BUT, Now I am seeing signs that she is getting back into old habits. Her 100% average in one class is now a 71!! Reason being, she didn’t turn in a homework packet that counted 3 times! So that was 3 zeros and she had 2 test that was 87%. How many times do I have to tell these kids that Zeros will KILL the average grade! I ask her tonight where this homework packet was and guess what she has no IDEA!
So I decided to pull out the binders. OMG what a mess! They have just been throwing papers in there and not even worrying that they don’t even have them in the right dividers! I went crazy! So we spent an hour organizing them and getting the back in order. So I decided that I had to make some big changes. I ask them to hand over phones, laptops, game systems, kindles, and yes I cut off the tvs. They are going to learn today that I am no longer going to give them a pass. I know what they are capable of and it’s not this for sure. So we are starting a brand new routine around here. We will be spending all that free time studying instead of wasting time on electronics.
Now here is the real kicker. Basketball tryouts start in 2 weeks. I still haven’t decided if I should let them even try out. I love them playing sports but my rule has always been grades before sports. Plus if they are struggling now without sports what’s going to happen when they are having practice every night and 1 game per week? And trust me I am the parent that will pull my child off the team if the grades start dropping. However, that’s not fair for their team mates. Parents help me out?! They know I am serious about sports and grades so I would have thought they wouldn’t even be testing the waters till at least basketball season IS OVER!
Miranda M says
It’s good to see you taking an active interest in your children’s grades and actually instilling consequences if they don’t meet certain expectations, but I do think you should let them take more responsibility for their academic lives.
It’s important for students to develop the skills to manage their own educations, especially in high school and college–and having a parent that keeps constant tabs on your work, organizes your binder for you, and communicates with your teachers to allow you to turn in missed work is not allowing them the independence they need.
I think you should let your children manage their classwork by themselves; if they fall below the educational standards you have implemented, then you can take away something they like, such as extracurriculars or electronics; losing those privileges once should keep them motivated to stay on top of their grades the next semester.
Pascha says
Ohhhhh, I have lived this post. SHUT THEIR SOCIAL EXISTENCE DOWN. Change their passwords. When Madisyn started to play the fool, we changed all her passwords. They will log in elsewhere. No FB, Twitter, Instagram, email, text apps. DEAD IT.
They need to know you mean business. This is Tom Foolery.
Do not go light on Jas. The fact that she started off strong shows she can do it…when she wants to. Sounds like she is not showing EFFORT.
School and behavior are 2 things I do not and will not negotiate with my children. It’s stressful managing them but you are doing right. In life there are consequences. I wouldn’t give them back until those grades turned around. Missing assignments in my house means you want to fight me.
Also, in my house, no TV Mon – Fri. This keeps them from rushing through lengthy homework or studying to watch tv.
XOXO
Jen Williams says
I agree. They will not be getting it back till at least report card time but it’s still going to be limited. Since I have took everything away even TV time I am already seeing a change. They are doing more studying and also getting more REST because they are going to bed sooner lol! Dre is also asking his teachers to make sure all his grades are in the system LOL so i can see that he is doing good.
I agree that Jas can do it. All her teachers have always told me this but not in till this year did i actually see it and feel that way. The only reason I think she is putting the effort in now is because she knows that she will not be able to play sports, Not because we say so but cause school says so.
You sound just like me!!!! I don’t play! When school season starts every game system is off limits. Gave my son a phone so he can call us and it has been taken away because he was focused on the phone more than anything. When he plays basketball, if I get a call from the teacher during the week he will not go to practice or any games that week. Our daughter in he freshman year she messed up bad one quarter. We threatened to not let her play ball if her grades weren’t up by basketball season. She cried everytime she saw us. We never had to deal with that anymore. Our son is a different story. He will try is every chance he gets and he’s lazy. You did right. If we don’t teach them that their are consequences to their actions they will never learn and it will just lead them into an adulthood of failure and a hard road ahead.
See that was Dre, he started playing on his phone more and more. We have never had a issue with him till this year. His teachers keep telling me he was just getting back in the swing of things and they don’t think it will be a issue. However, I am not going to even wait and see if it’s going to be a issue or not, The last 2 days he has been carrying around that dang basketball sheet acting like he is going to throw it away. I ask him why..He was like you said i wasn’t going to play looking ALL SAD…I didn’t say a word I said oh ok..LOL he never threw it away!
My daughter has always been the lazy one. The thing with that is we used to take EVERYTHING away and it still didn’t even phase her. She really could care less. Now she is changing so luckily this time I’m seeing improvements.
NYou know your children best. They need to know there are consequences to their actions. We homeschool and we have taken things away from our daughter nothing wrong with wanting your children to do good in school.